TAMPA, Fla. — For more than a decade, Melissa McDade kept a secret.
“I knew at some point in my life, I was going to have to talk,” said McDade.
McDade is in social work at The James A. Haley VA Hospital. She connects easily with the veterans she helps and understands the trauma many go through. But no one knew the pain she'd suffered.
“When you come out of a situation like that, one of the things that you don't want to feel anymore is that you're a battered wife and had that stigma of, you know, she's a battered wife,” explained McDade.
She continued, “The type of abuser my ex-husband was, eventually, he would have killed me.”
The intense mental and physical abuse took a toll on her, and she hid the emotional and physical scars until recently.
“When you go through something as severe as I did, you have to speak it out, and you have to let others know, and you have to show that you're a survivor,” said McDade.
While planning a domestic violence awareness event for the VA, McDade shared her story with a co-worker and eventually her boss.
“She was afraid to tell her story. And so, I sat her down, I said, Melissa, you are a survivor. You are a survivor,” explained McDade’s boss.
She continued, “The first time she told me what she went through, I was like, I was in awe, I really was, and she showed me the scars and what she's gone through, and I'm like, Oh, my God, how did you survive?”
Now, McDade wants everyone to know her story.
“I remember one of the times in the middle, I was like, seeing my kids, and I'm like, what am I doing to them? I'm not just destroying my life, but I'm destroying two little boys that are going to grow up if they continue that could be just like him,” explained McDade.
They left with nothing but the clothes on their backs and their belongings stuffed in trash bags. McDade was determined to end the cycle of abuse.
“I have two boys that are in the Navy that are complete opposite than anything that I could ever imagine. I'm very proud of them. They're very gentle souls,” said McDade.
McDade is proud of the person she's become.
“This is what a survivor looks like. It's freedom. When you think that you have no out, you have no ends, no means, no support, you can survive. That's what I think most victims do not understand is there is life out there. And it feels good,” explained McDade.
McDade is now remarried and told ABC Action News she feels rewarded 10 times over for what she’s endured. McDade is not afraid to share her story anymore, especially if it inspires just one person to get help.
If you or someone you know is in a domestic violence situation, help is available. Call the Domestic Violence Hotline number at 1-800- 500-1119.
Our Taking Action Against Domestic Violence Campaign has been around for more than 15 years, and throughout those years, it has brought an impact on the community and those of us involved.
